news conversations

I was watching "the today show" this morning, which I would not suggest for anyone looking for real, hard news stories, and this story came up.  At first, I couldn't believe the reactions from people in America, about how terrible this is and what a horrible thing the scottish government is doing.  How could something called the compassion law be bad in any way?  

After some extensive conversations with my brother, and hearing from others on the most wonderful FB, however, my thoughts are changing.  Perhaps he should not be allowed to go free, and should be required to serve his life sentence because he is living under the laws of the world.  Honestly, my opinion on whether or not he goes free doesn't too much matter, seeing as he probably is and there's not much any one can do about it.  

However, this did bring up the question of compassion and love for our enemies, which is some thing that I think is hard to grasp.  Romans 12:17-21 was brought up, which

 ends with "Do not be overcome by evil, but repay evil with good."  

Also Matthew 15:43-48, which speaks about loving our enemies.  

Although it may not be the governments place to do this...i don't know what i think about that...it is most definitely ours.  This man has killed 270 people, he is a convicted terrorist.  And according to the word of God, We are called to love him. not because he is dying of a terrible disease, but because he a creation of our perfect God.  He has done nothing to deserve the compassion of our hearts, or the compassion and mercy of our father, but neither have we.  

Loving your enemy is never easy, but as we live in this world of sin, 

where everyday another senseless death occurs, we should remember that "God demonstrates his own love for us in this: that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."  (ro

mans 5:8)

We are called to love the people the world tells us to hate.  the people who have sinned against us and our God, because Christ has also died for them. 

 

15 things I learned this summer

1. Be vulnerable.  Allow yourself to be open with people.  Allow people to love you through your faults.  
2. Botox all you want, your still gonna die.
3. Solja Boi is still a bad song, even when you take the lyrics off
4. Young children and I don't get along well.  
5. Macdonald's ribbon cuttings have the potential to be awesome
6. I love hot tea
7. God is our ultimate romancer
8. I love climbing.  Belaying is fun too
9. Mudpits have the potential to smell really really bad
10. I don't think I'm allergic to poison ivy
11. I love being outside
12. the bachelorette is really dumb.  I can't stop watching it.  
13. I want to live for testimonies, not titles
14. twitter brings people together,
15. God is completely in control of our lives.  He is an all powerful teacher and lover and grace giver.  He is an awesome God.

Notes from Staff Discipleship. Matt Oarth Changes lives every day. Sunday was no exception.

We have been hanging out in 1 Samuel for discipleship time this summer.  Sunday's was amazing, and completely relevant to future plans I have.  THough I would share the notes I took.  

This is the passage we looked at.  Pulled from Biblegateway.com: 

1 Samuel 12

This is basically Samuel's farewell speech.  He has been faithful in his leadership to Israel for many years, and is now stepping down into the place of advisor to the king the people have selfishly asked for, and he has anointed. (God gave the people what they asked for...more on that later)

SOOO

1.  ³ Here I stand. Testify against me in the presence of the LORD and his anointed. Whose ox have I taken? Whose donkey have I taken? Whom have I cheated? Whom have I oppressed? From whose hand have I accepted a bribe to make me shut my eyes? If I have done any of these, I will make it right."

Samuel asks in leadership, and in humility, if he has wronged the people.  He is determined to make it right if he has.  So many times today, as leaders in many things, we feel "above the law" and NO ONE is allowed to call us out.  Samuel's humility in this place is such an example that the opposite should be true.  As leaders we should be blameless, but since that isn't possible, we should right the wrongs we commit against people, and not be too proud to admit that they have been committed.  The people in this place, however, can find NOTHING wrong from Samuel's leadership.  He has faithfully served his people-SERVANT LEADERSHIP.  He has never dug into the offering plate to take a little larger salary for himself, or pulled the choice meets off the burt offering.  He has humbly served his people with integrity.  He has removed the plank from his own eye and therefor can call out the people he is serving.  Notice he removed his plank FIRST!  

vs. 20"Do not be afraid," Samuel replied. "You have done all this evil; yet do not turn away from the LORD, but serve the LORD with all your heart.

2.  The people of Israel to this point had been ruled solely by God.  He was their king.  They begged Him, however, to send a warrior king to serve them and help them win in battle.  This was a sin against God.  They rejected Him as their king, and asked for one of their own to replace Him.  God did provide, however, and gave them a king, who Samuel has anointed just before this passage.  Samuel calls down a thunderstorm in the middle of the dry season to prove to the nation that they have sinned against God by begging for a king.  But God has grace on them and loves them through their sin.  He is merciful through our pain.  When we beg for a something "if I have this I'll love you more" God gives it to us, knowing that its not what we have that makes us love Him more, but the attitude of our hearts.  Even when we worship Idols, EMPTY IDOLS God is still there waiting for us to return and repent of our sins and love Him again.  

Matt did a much better job of explaining this, but I was really touched by the servant leader part.  I feel like God has called me to ministry in low income communities to low income families.  Not only has he given me a heart for theatre and middle school students but also for community and the families of the students I teach.  I pray that one day I have the opportunity to be in a leadership position in a youth-theatre-afterschool community-outreach-love-everyone center.  And that God gives me the heart of a servant leader like samuel was.  

Beginning to Finish Well

It has been one amazing day! My face is getting better, which is such a blessing, and God has helped me remember names better than ever before! I am SO pumped about this week.  I also got to have a great GREAT conversation with a girl on staff tonight.  Thanks for the prayers! God is doing great things here already!!

Here are some pics I took at the end of last week and today! 

(captions are below)

these are the girls that were on my hall for week three that I really bonded with! It was cool to see how God placed them in my lives! I also really bonded with their chaperones, but there were not available for photographing ;-) I also got a text from the second and third from the right today, which were the two I got the closest two, which gave me hope that I can continue to poor into their lives.  

staff red shorts and matching! registration is fun! 

this is the experience for kids walking into worship! SOOOO fun! 

Wave action!

Fun Staffer friends and a random gag gift! 

Week three

Finding time to blog here is hard by the way

Week three was amazing! We had 750 campers, a huge increase from week two, which only had 350! It was exhausting and long, but amazing! I can't believe that today marked the beginning of the last week here! 

I worked our OAG course two of the three days again this week, which was SO fun! We had one camper get below 3 min(a new camper record) and another break her ankle within the first 10 feet of the course.  What a week. some Chaperones had terrible attitudes at the game, but most of the campers were great, and made up for the adults.  

I also found out yesterday that I have an infected lymph node in my face(my star node for those who keep up with anatomy) which hurts SO much.  I have antibiotics, but if they don't work, which they aren't yet, I become a "surgical case" which I don't want to happen.  Please pray the antibiotics work!

I bonded with a church this week more than I have with any all summer.  Especially one specific girl. She is 15 and still, I think, in middle school mode.  She has no idea what respect looks like, and doesn't yet understand what is important in life.  My heart broke for her this week because I want her to know God intimately and she has no desire to.  I'm not sure she is a believer, and if she is, she has a very immature walk with Him.  Pray for her as you have time this week, and that camp somehow broke her a little, and that she would be ready to truly live God's word. 

Also pray that I will bond with the people on staff.  I don't feel like I have had many deep conversations with people and I want to build deep relationships with these people.  I know its a little late, but I desire these relationships so much, and they aren't really there yet.   

One more week.  pray its a blessed and powerful one, and that God's spirit fills the students who will be here!

what i get to see

Pics from Week 2

these are in reverse order, mostly out of laziness and lack of understand of how to change the order

"Decker's Got Talent" week 2 edition-AWESOME!! rap

pre-gaming fellowship

This is a picture of my life at camp:outside with my Bookbag, nalgene, and crossroads name tag

Early Registration night-getting that nine square on

Enjoying some swing dancing on the weekend-this is not swing dancing, this is just fun

Some Pics from Week 1

these are also backwards....fail

Annual staff "Tap Out Week One" Outback Dinner

Hanging out with campers pre "Decker's got talent" week one

Getting drunk on Community for Brad's 21 (the boy in the middle is Brad)

700+ campers worshiping our God-amazing!

Climbing tower-kicked my rear end

Of Week 2

This week has been a little intense so far, but God is brining us through.  First, there was the Gaffney Serial Killer, for whom signs were posted all over campus, so I'm sure some campers were a little freaked out.  Its funny though, because there is a group here this week from Gaffney, staying on my hall.

(i don't know if you knew this, but Gaffney is about a ten min drive from GWU)

I had the opportunity to talk with the Youth Minister and the head female chaperone from that group when they checked in, and they were so revealed to be away from Gaffney.  It was a bit of a change in perspective for me.  Some of their youth were also friends with the 15 year old girl who was killed, so I know they are still dealing with that, although the threat is gone now.  

We also have some sickness going around our staff, colds and upper respiratory infections and allergies and poison ivy.  none of which are super serious, they are just causeing people to not be available to work,  Pray for healing, as we are missing about 6 staff members.

I was thinking though last night, that perhaps God is using these illnesses to teach us that camp is not run by us, and that His strength is what we need to rely on.  We cannot do it by ourselves! 

Overall though, Camp has been amazing! It is a huge blessing on my life in these past 2 weeks, and I know it will continue to be.  Pray for healing, and staff unity, and that no one feels lonely, that we can see each other's needs and fill them.  Pray that as a staff, God will use us to break down cultural barriers that surround these students, and that God would use our lips to fill them with His truth.  

Charie King and the Love of Our God

Last night, we split the girls and guys during our teaching time at night to do the "love" talk.  For those of you that grew up in youth group, you can assume what this means.  Basically I was expecting "don't have sex until your married" "marry/date a Christian" ect, which I am in no way saying are bad, and very important to hear, but not something that most of the girls hear have never heard before.  

I was wrong.

Charie, who is married to Clayton King, the official camp speaker and president of CrossRoads worldwide, spoke from her heart about the beauty and love our Lord has given us.  She shared a beautiful painting that I wish I had a shot of to share and explained that our talents and passions are what make us beautiful and what God has placed in us.  God loves us for who He has made us to be, and we should never settle for a man who loves us for any other reason.  She shared this passage from Ezekiel that really really spoke to me, and so therefor I will share it with you! 

(I got this from Biblegateway.com, a great reference with tons of different translations and a key word or phrase search)

This is the Father's love for us, and how much he cares for us

Ezekiel 16:4-15

On the day you were born your cord was not cut, nor were you washed with water to make you clean, nor were you rubbed with salt or wrapped in cloths. ⁵ No one looked on you with pity or had compassion enough to do any of these things for you. Rather, you were thrown out into the open field, for on the day you were born you were despised.

 ⁶ " 'Then I passed by and saw you kicking about in your blood, and as you lay there in your blood I said to you, "Live!" ^{a]" style="font-size: 0.75em; line-height: 0.5em; ">[a]} ⁷ I made you grow like a plant of the field. You grew up and developed and became the most beautiful of jewels. ^{b]" style="font-size: 0.75em; line-height: 0.5em; ">[b]} Your breasts were formed and your hair grew, you who were naked and bare.

 ⁸ " 'Later I passed by, and when I looked at you and saw that you were old enough for love, I spread the corner of my garment over you and covered your nakedness. I gave you my solemn oath and entered into a covenant with you, declares the Sovereign LORD, and you became mine.

 ⁹ " 'I bathed ^{c]" style="font-size: 0.75em; line-height: 0.5em; ">[c]} you with water and washed the blood from you and put ointments on you.¹⁰ I clothed you with an embroidered dress and put leather sandals on you. I dressed you in fine linen and covered you with costly garments. ¹¹ I adorned you with jewelry: I put bracelets on your arms and a necklace around your neck, ¹² and I put a ring on your nose, earrings on your ears and a beautiful crown on your head. ¹³ So you were adorned with gold and silver; your clothes were of fine linen and costly fabric and embroidered cloth. Your food was fine flour, honey and olive oil. You became very beautiful and rose to be a queen. ¹⁴ And your fame spread among the nations on account of your beauty, because the splendor I had given you made your beauty perfect, declares the Sovereign LORD.

Its a little graphic, but is clear on one thing.  God has made us beautiful, and he is our Romancer.  v. 8-14 is also how a husband loves his wife.  Marriage becomes a reflection of God's love in this passage.  What a beautiful woman God is making us all! What a mighty loving and beautiful God we serve!

On Campus Adventure gets Creative

We were charged with the task to create a little 3 min commercial describing our activities that we offer here at CrossRoads.  My activity is On Campus Adventure, which can also be described as "If you have fun, don't break any bones, and don't leave with poison ivy, you win!"  We decided the best way to show campers a little taste of what they would be doing, should they sign up for our activity would be to create a short slide show of some pictures.  Here's what we created:

dirt in my mouth and sweat on my brow

I am writing this from my staff training dorm at Garder Webb University in Boiling Springs NC. Its late, and I'm tired so this will be short. I am going to try and do this every day, but we'll see. I want to document one thing I learn a day, and share it with my 8 followers ;-) and the rest of cyberspace heh
Ok so today was a long day. Hugged Erica goodbye this morning and hung out with Tom for a few hours, then it was off to BS...map quest told me it would take 2 hours...it took one...We moved are stuff in and hung out for a few hours, then had some meetings-a returners expectations meeting, and then "the meeting"-where you get to hear every single rule for 2 hours...honestly though, not close to as bad as it sounds.
Side note T.J. I met Amanda Godfrey and she's pretty sweet!
Then we played some ultiment and it was SO fun. I learned the technique of throwing a hammer...I can't really do it yet, but I did learn. Then Sarah, who is my roommate and I had some bonding time, and here I am...
What I learned today:
I have to step up and step out and talk to people and not be scared, because, especially here, people enjoy getting to know others and its pretty fun
ok the end

Reflections in preparation

As I pack for camp tonight, I am thinking back on the last year, and how much Crossroads has made an enormous impact on my life. I've learned so much over the past year, grown so much, and, I pray, become a better friend, daughter, student, sister, and person.  Of course, not all of this is because of camp, but it is all because of the way my relationship with Christ has grown this year, how He has pulled me closer and opened my heart to His love, and some of His plans for me.  This all did start, however, with Crossroads.  

• I have discovered a passion for "at risk" kids and families.  This has come from a desire to make an impact on people's lives.  God has revealed to me the suffering in this world through a variety of different things, and I have come to realize that I cannot sit by in the comforts of suburbia and pretend like everything in the world is as easy as my life is.  I cannot do it.  I think my reading of Irresistible Revolution has a lot to do with this.  Just hearing about a different way to live.  A literal take on Jesus's teachings in the new testament, and an opening of my eyes to the inequalities in the world today really changed my goals and aspirations in life.  
  
• I have learned what a servant's heart looks like, and have slowly begun shed the fear of being used for the desire of serving and loving people.  
  
• I am discovering what it means to have selfless love for the people around me.  This process is well chronicled in this blog, and honestly, I'm no where close.  I am on the road, however.  
  
• I have fallen in love with the outdoors and every thing about it.  I can't get enough, even on hot summer days.  This I owe completely to Crossroads! 
  
• I have focused more on school, and have a growing desire to do my best in every moment of my life.  I struggle with why I need to do that (as an offering to my Christ as opposed to the satisfaction and pride it brings me as a person)
  
• I am learning to have a relationship with a boy, and to not be scared all the time, and to live in the moment, and what emotional purity looks like.  SLOWLY learning.

I'm sure there are more, but thats what I've got.  Also, when I say I, its more "Jesus is teaching" as opposed to "I am learning"

65 things i've "never" been asked

1. First thing you wash in the shower?
hair usually.
2. What color is your favorite hoodie?
gray

3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
yes!

4. Do you plan outfits?
in days when I have to get up early but only to delay the process for as long as possible

5. How are you feeling RIGHT now?
in love....thanks "the proposal" for making me feel like a total girl

6. Whats the closest thing to you that's red?
my computer cover

7. Tell me about the last dream you remember having?
it was about my first night in london.  I hadn't turned in all my paper work, and it was freaking out because i didn't know my way around yet, and i would have to go find the SA office alone in the city, which looked alot like a run down mining town

8. Did you meet anybody new today?
yes.  however, i cannot remember his name

9. What are you craving right now?
water, and some time with Jesus.  also some time with Tom

10. Do you floss?
...no

11. What comes to mind when I say cabbage?
charlie and the chocolate factory...don't they eat cabbage soup at the beginning?

12. Are you emotional?
yes, although I like to pretend I'm not 

13. Have you ever counted to 1,000?
yes, when I was younger I used to do it by twos just to see if I could (i can) 

14. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it?
if its in a cone i bite, but not from a sppon

15. Do you like your hair?
some days i love it, others I hate it....never in between

16. Do you like yourself?
i'm getting there.  I'm learning to love the creation God has made in me without being prideful....I'm also trying to figure out how in the world I'm sinful enough to have self confidence and pride issues

17. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush?
i would.  I want to know what he is really like.  *this does not in any way reflect on my opinions of him as a president 

19. Are your parents strict?
they were as I was growing up, but have become less so with my younger brothers and sister.  I love them for it.  I would much rather be sheltered than over exposed 

20. Would you go sky diving?
not singly, but with a guide or professional or whatever, absolutely. 

21. Do you like cottage cheese?
nope

22. Have you ever met a celebrity?
yes.  peewee hurman and jessica beal...

23. Do you rent movies often?
redbox :)

24. Is there anything sparkly in the room you're in?
yes

25. How many countries have you visited?
...4....5 (maybe more) in the fall!!!! 

26. Have you made a prank phone call?
only to people I know

27. Ever been on a train?
does a subway count

28. Brown or white eggs?
i don't know the difference except maybe in the price....i get white

29.Do you have a cell-phone?
of course...this question should be updated to "do you use twitter"...my answer would still be yes

30. Do you use chap stick?
oh yes. love it!

31. Do you own a gun?
nope, never will

32. Can you use chop sticks?
most of the time

33. Who are you going to be with tonight?
no where else....

34. Are you too forgiving?
yes, but i could always be more so.  I think its more that I can't hold a grudge.  

35. Ever been in love?
yes

36. What is your best friend(s) doing tomorrow?
anna and hannah are working, not sure about Katie...Tom is also working if he counts 

37. Ever have cream puffs?
mrs. dana's are the best

38. Last time you cried?
today

39. What was the last question you asked?
where am I sleeping maybe

40. Favorite time of the year?
fall

41. Do you have any tattoos?
2

42. Are you sarcastic?
NO! NOT AT ALL *sarcastic tone implied

43. Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect?
no

44. Ever walked into a wall?
yes

45. Favorite color?
purple

46. Have you ever slapped someone?
yes.  I was in the 6th grade on a cruise, and a boy was trying to "booty" dance with me and I had already asked him to stop but he wouldn't so I slapped him.  The end

47. Is your hair curly?
oh yes.

48. What was the last CD you bought?
on itunes...i don't know

49. Do looks matter?
i wish they mattered less. 

50. Could you ever forgive a cheater?
the one time its happened I couldn't.  It depends on the situation.  I could to save my marriage, but only by the grace of my God

51. Is your phone bill sky high?
nope I stay in the rules

52. Do you like your life right now?
yes.  God has blessed me so much, i am only beginning to realize it

53. Do you sleep with the TV on?
sometimes

54. Can you handle the truth?
sometimes.  I would rather hear it though.  I hate being lied to more than just about anything

55. Do you have good vision?
i pretend i do

56. Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people?
no.

57. How often do you talk on the phone?
not a fan, but at least once a day

58. [This question is under construction.]
there are not 65 questions then

59. What are you wearing?
shorts and a tank top 

60. What is your favorite animal ?
i love monkeys

61. Where was your default picture taken at?
virginia hilton park in lexington

62. Can you hula hoop?
only with Brittany Brock's hula hoop

63. Do you have a job?
yep.  Two actually.  i start my second on wed.  CrossRoads HERE I COME!!!!!!!!

64. What was the most recent thing you bought?
ICE CREAM!

65. Have you ever crawled through a window?
maybe, but not to sneak out...

Beach

I'm here.  Photo's will come.  

Its been great.  I have had so much fun spending time with my family.  Tom was also here for a few days which was so good.  Nice to spend some time together before the summer is rushed by.  We had some fun on the way up, when Blastoise, formerly known as the Blue Bullet, needed a break about half way through...so we chilled on the side of the road...2 cops checked on us...the second even stopped traffic.  It was hot, and we still had fun ;-) Finally we made it to The beach was fabulous, and we just had a great time...we tried to play some Settlers, which is hard when my 11 year old brother is yelling at us the whole time because he wasn't winning...ended up being no fun at all, but a rather funny experience.

I am now lonely for the rest of the week, so I will be finishing "the shack," which I'm not really that big a fan of, and reading Kristin's copy of "Redeeming Love" again

For those who followed my blog last summer, I won't be returning to it, but continuing this one, just cause it's easier :-) I have also decided to "delete" my facebook for the entirety of camp.  Should be interesting, and I think difficult.  We'll see.

....this is me blogging more

If you opened this, FILL IT OUT! Learn 44 things about your friends, and let them learn 44 things about you! Tag the person that sent it plus others. (whatever)

1. Do you like blue cheese? its not bad...i'm not really a fan of cheese 

2. Have you ever been drunk? nope...never plan to be

3. Do you own a gun? no. never will.

4. What flavor of Kool-Aid was your favorite? i hate Kool-Aid

5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? sometimes

6. What do you think of hot dogs? after helping make 300 at lunch today and having kids explain how they are made, still gotta love 'em

7. Favorite Christmas movie? A Christmas Story...the MOVIE, not the play

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? water, sometimes orange juice

9. Can you do push ups? I can, although when I was in the tenth grade, I messed up my rotator cuff doing them at a swim meet....brilliant decision to show off....i still have trouble with that shoulder 

10. What's your favorite piece of jewelry? amethyst earrings from my wonderful late grandmother.  I miss her dearly.  Purple was her favorite color, and is also mine.  She was a huge influence in my life.  I love Jesus today mostly because of her and the influence she had on the people around me.  

11. Favorite hobby? Photography....check out my Flikr

12. Do you have A.D.D.? ADHD

13. What's your favorite shoe? either my riding boots or my moccasins 

14. Middle name? michelle

15. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment? 1. Its late 2. VACATION TOMORROW 3.I want God to move me

16. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink? Coke and water...thats really about it....

17. Current worry? stupid SC teacher loan, and the future.  However, my Bible says Do not worry about tomorrow.  Tomorrow will take care of itself.  Today has enough worry of its own.  Worry is the mistrust of my savior, and the more I worry the further I get from Him.  

18. Current hate right now? that I can't stay at the Leisure Center and go to Crossroads

19. How did you bring in the New Year? with my family, the way I always do

20. What is your favorite band? ....no idea....Iron and Wine maybe...Sigur Ros...although thats not really a band...Coldplay? 

21. Where would you like to go? Africa...for an extended period of time too

22. Name three people who will complete this? let's just be honest here...no one

23. Do you own slippers? i own moccasins 

24. What color shirt are you wearing right now? no comment

25. Do you like sleeping on Satin sheets? i haven't but I can't imagine i would...jersey is nice

26. Can you whistle? nope....

27. Favorite color? purple 

28. Would you be a pirate? ....first of all what kind of question is this? and honestly, no not at all murder and theft go against everything I believe in....

29. What songs do you sing in the shower? star spangled banner...re-living the glory days.(I sang it at the last basketball game of my senior year, and for some reason everyone loved it....and I'm proud of that...dont think I could ever do it again but)

30. Favorite Girl's Name? no idea...I found an amazing biblical one in acts the other day but I can't remember it now

31. Favorite boy's name? Hayden

32. What's in your pocket right now? no pockets

33. Last thing that made you laugh? ..."how do you wake up lady gaga? poke 'er face" spoken by a ten year old.  I love my job

34. Best bed sheets as a child? alladin all the way...they were actually jasmin i think...purple and pink...and totally awesome...the tiger was on my pillow!

35. Worst injury you've ever had as a child? I was standing on a stack of chairs, and I fell face first and broke my nose....two black eyes for about a week

36. Do you love where you live? i prefer the thrill

37. What menial tasks drive you nuts? ...anything where I can't see the end product.  I would hate factory work

38. Who is your loudest friend? hmmmm...toss up between me and KT manley

39. How many dogs do you have? uno

40. Does someone have a crush on you? yeah... i kinda like him too ;-)

41. What is your favorite book? The Bible. Irresistible Revolution (shane clabourn) it will change the way you live.  

42. What is your favorite candy? shockers maybe...laughy taffy...its a candy and a joke...Razzels are also AWESOME...i had some for the first time the other night

43. Favorite Sports Team? cubs

44. What song do you want played at your funeral? amazing grace or isaiah 43

fun with the leisure center

I've been told I should blog more.  So I'm doing it.  Also feeling slightly ADD, so this should be interesting.

James 1:4 

⁴Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

I've been hanging out in James 1 for the past few days, meditating on versus 2-8.  Today, this verse was my day.  The end.

We took our kids to Riverbanks Zoo.  It was 94 degrees.  We parked in the Botanical Gardens Lot, which is about half a mile from the actual Zoo, and did I mention it was 94.  Oh yeah, and we had 39 kids, so the tram was not an option.  

However, the walk to and from the Zoo was wonderful.  It was a little warm, but beautiful.  We walked across the big bridge over the river, and through the river banks and the gardens.  The kids whined, but in the end I was immensely glad we walked.  I got to talk with the kids, and just spend time playing and hanging out and being silly, not being the person keeping them safe and inline.  Over the past 2 summers, I have hated those kids and loved them.  I think I may have finally found some balance between getting to know them and loving them as children of God, but also keeping them safe and following the rules.  Its been amazing.  

Also on the perk side of this trip, I probably lost about 50 lbs.  Just saying.

Sophomore Year

Somethings I've Learned This Year

 

1. Swings and Hammocks make a dorm room ten times better
   
2. Sometimes being alone is very hard
   
3. Sometimes pain is a way to grow closer to Christ, and as much as it hurts, strength in Christ is the answer
   
4. Red flags sometimes are the holy spirit, and following them may lead to something even greater
   
5. A few close friends are sometimes better than 50 simi-close ones 
   
6. Honesty is always the best policy, no questions asked
   
7. I am not entitled to love from the people around me, I am required and blessed to have to opportunity to love them
   
8. Service is an outpouring of my gratefulness of God's love for me, not an expectation for love in return
   
9. College is hard
   
10. I CAN write 30 pages in a 1 and 1/2 weeks, and do well.  
    
11. Don't give up, even when you feel like your not good enough, even when its harder than anything you've ever done, even when no one else thinks you can DON'T GIVE UP, God has put you here for a reason.  Run after Him, and there you will find your success. 
    
12. Don't compare yourself to others.  Be who God has created you to be.  There is always someone better than you, always some one worse-God made us to be who we are only
    
13. I may be a bit of a pain junky 
    
14. I love directing
    
15. I'm scared of commitment and being hurt in relationships
    
16. You can't live your life doing the right thing out of fear.  I struggle with that.  Alot.
    
17. I'm terrible with money
    
18. I love photography.  Love it.  I want to learn everything there is to know about it.  
    
19. We're all in this together.  Ok I know thats lame, but i've found it to be true.  Although we are all so different, as people, I've found, we really struggle with alot of the same things.  Openness brings us closer together, which is something I struggle with, but I've learned I shouldn't be afraid to be open with my struggles, because we can all work together to grow.  
    
20. I love to clean
    
21. I love to give things to people and do things for them and love them in any way nessasary
    
22. I'm pretty lucky to have the friends I do.  No, VERY lucky
    
23. I'm not as introverted as I thought
    
24. I like to plan things.  Hospitality is my spiritual gift.  100% 
    
25. I'm terrible at keeping up a blog.  Terrible.  The end
    

I'm bored, but I don't feel like doing much more than this...

1. This survey gets a little personal; can you handle it?

YEAH 
2. If you married the last person you texted, what would your last name be?
Erin Gill...:-D
3. Were you happy when you woke up today?
nope, I was in pain...freaking wisdom teeth 
4. When were you on the phone last? And with who?
umm Earlier today with my boifriend
7. What are you excited for?
Not having a chipmunk face anymore, and Tom coming this weekend
8. What were you doing yesterday?
Wisdom teeth out and lots of sleeping
9. Honestly, who was the last person to tell you they love you?
Tom and my parents
10. What's the last thing you put in your mouth?
Wata...
11. Have a best friend?
3 of the best in the world
12. Are you scared to fall in love?
yes, i'm scared of screwing up and getting hurt
13. Do you think teenagers can be in love?
I think lust and love get confused but I also think that nothing is out of God's power
14. Last person you wanted to punch in the face?
no comment 
15. What time is it right this second?
10:38 pm...o and my whole house is asleep...sweet
16. What do you want right now?
to not have chipmonk cheeks and for my face not to hurt anymore
17. Who was the last person you took a picture with?
friends at Dave's party
19. When was the last time you cried?
today...my teeth hurt
20. Do you have a good relationship with your parents?
yes, but not until we spent 3 years of high school fighting every day
21. Do you find it hard to trust others?
yep
22. How fast does your mind change?
not too fast
23. I bet you miss somebody right now.
yes....alot
24. Can you honestly say you're okay right now?
ok, not good
25. Why do you think so many people cheat?
I think sometimes we are not willing to work and be content with the things we have.  Jealousy and lust, idolitry, human nature
26. Tell me what's on your mind?
missing people
27. What are you looking forward to in the next three months?
Camp and traveling abroad
28. Have you ever worn the opposite sex's clothing?
heck yes, way more comfortable 
29. When did you last talk to your number 1 top friend?
heh, I talked to all three this afternoon 
30. When is your next road trip?
in about 2 weeks
31. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell anything to?
yeah
32. How's your heart?
its been broken, but God is healing it, using a pretty sweet guy
33. Have you ever felt like you weren't important?
Yes, but itsn't that a testimony to my distrust of my God's love? He has created me to fulfill His will, and therefor that makes me important
34. Do you think somebody's in love with you?
  The king is inthralled with your beauty.  Also, i have a pretty sweet Boyfriend
35. What are you planning on doing after this?
sleep
36. Next time you will kiss someone?
this weekend perhaps 
37. Have you told anybody you loved them today?
yep
38. Who do you not get along with?
there arn't many i don't think....
39. what does your 3rd recent text say?
Group meeting for CRTW...so crappy
40. What are you wearing right now?
pj's
41. You're locked in a room with the person you last kissed, how is it?
fine.  
42. When's the last time you had a grilled cheese?
last week maybe
43. What's your fave boy and girl name right now?
I'm not that far thinking right now.  One milestone at a time.  
44. How did you feel when you woke up?
gross, swollen and in pain
45. Do you wish someone would call or text you right now?
Text  would be preferred...i don't much feel like talking.  But i would love that
46. Do you crack your knuckles?
Its so bad for you, but I totally do it
47. What were you doing yesterday at midnight?
watching tv...almost asleep
48. What are your LEGAL initials?
EML
49. Who's the first B in your contacts?
Bailly 
50. When was the last time you laughed really hard?
today at lunch, although it hurt...heh
51. Your  number 1 top friend walks out of your life, do you go after them?
absolutelym no questions asked
52. Last awkward moment?
something with my family

53. Are you afraid of the dark?
yes.  yes I am
54. Do you have good vision?
nope
55. Have you ever kissed in the rain?
yes
56. Have you ever slapped someone?
yes.  no means no
57. Are you Irish?
a little i believe
58. Do you use chap stick?
when i can find it
59. Do you have any scars?
yes
60. Is there someone you will never forgive?
no
62. Name the last person to text you?
Tom 
63. Would you marry someone 8 years older than you?
yes, if he was "the one"
64. Can you go in public looking like you do?
no
65. Have you ever kissed someone whose name started with a J?
yes...that was random
66. What side of the bed do you sleep on?
both
67. Whats the first thing you'll do on your wedding day?
pray
68. What's one huge pet peeve of yours?
selfishness
69. Has anyone put their arms around you in the past 5 days?
yes.  And it was a good feeling
70. Do you miss the way things used to be?
a little, but they are changing for the better, I'm determined
71. Has anyone ever told you they're in love with you?
yep
72. Song you're thinking of right now?
1234 plain white tees...I KNOW ITS LAME
73. Want someone back in your life?
yes, but friendships only
74. Will tomorrow be better than today?
I sure hope so
75. What’s the color of you’re shirt you are wearing?
teal

76. Has anyone ever sang or played music for you personally?
yeah 
77. Does it bother you when someone lies to you?
so much
79.Are you a naturally happy person? Or is your happiness forced?
 I’m  happy
80. Is there anyone you wish would fall in love with you?
too late ;-)

Mosaic

Rules:

a) Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search (http://www.flickr.com/).

b) Using ONLY the first page, pick an image.

c) Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into Mosaic Maker. Change rows to 3 and columns to 3 (http://bighugelabs.com/fli

ckr/mosaic.php).

The Questions:

1. What is your first name? Erin

2. What is your favorite food? Key Lime Pie

3. What is your favorite color? Purple

4. Favorite band? Iron and Wine (today ;-D)

5. Dream vacation? Dominican Republic

6. Favorite hobby? photography

7. What you want to be when you grow up? A teacher

8. What do you love? people

9. One word to describe you? Servant (more like I want it to describe me)

1. Summer's evening in Port Erin, 2. Key Lime Pies sign at the Crack'd Conch in Key Largo, Florida., 3. My purple all star for the first time at the park, 4. Bottle Under the Bridge, 5. Santeria Woman Smoking a Habano Cigar, Havana, Cuba, 6. There's a story for every homeless, 7. Fifteen accounts of life, death, and everything that interferes., 8. Every saturday shampoo day!, 9. Doriath

trust

This past week has been very interesting in the way of relationships.  I am still learning how to create good relationships, and how to understand that those relationships shouldn't be "what's in it for me."  I wish that one day i will fully understand this, but understanding that my existence is human.

Its interesting though how my feelings on the matters seemed to shift over the past few days.  I think this came with my SLOW willingness to share my feelings with others, which is difficult for me.  I have this idea that sharing with people how I feel when those feelings are messy and unorganized and stupid.  But how can I expect love and understanding and real relationships if i am unwilling to share anything that doesn't sound nice.  I am slowly learning that sharing, being open, trusting is how you build relationships.  I have to be willing to open up, be vulnerable to love people fully.  I have to be willing to trust to have people trust me.  To build real relationships 

Flikr

I added some new pictures.....

http://www.flickr.com/photos/beautyinthedetail/ 

enjoy

50 things I've never been asked

1. What color is your toothbrush?
blue

2. Name one person who made you smile today:
Hannah, Katie, Brittany.  Rachel. JESUS I know it only said one...

3. What were you doing at 8 am this morning:
sleeping 

4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago?
watching a scene in my directing class

5. What is your favorite candy bar?
butterfinger or snickers

6. Have you ever been to a strip club?
hahahah NO...i do not believe in the objectification of women's bodies

7. What is the last thing you said aloud?
when are those due?

8. What is your favorite ice cream flavor?
sweet cream with strawberries and yellow cake mixed in 

9. What was the last thing you had to drink?
i'm drinking a coke right now

10. Do you like your wallet?
so much...thank you urban outfitters

11. What was the last thing you ate?
sugar cookies, as a present to myself for not dying, and making it to all my classes today

12. Have you bought any new clothing items this week?
no, but i did by the expansion pack to settlers of catan

13. The last sporting event you watched?
either professional soccer or the final four in the NCAA tournament i can't remember 

14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn?
butter...NO KETTLE CORN! 

15. Who is the last person you sent a text message too?
Johnny Hawley 

16. Ever go camping?
yes, but i want to do it more...getting better, doing, backpacking is my new goal

17. Do you take vitamins daily?
no

18. Do you go to church every Sunday?
yep :-)

19. Do you have a tan?
i'm working on my fake tan 

20. Do you prefer Chinese food over pizza?
yep 

21. Do you drink your soda with a straw?
sometimes

22. What did your last text message say?
your welcome i love you 

23. What are you doing tomorrow?
class from 930 to 5, dinner from 5-630 with a friend, performance until 10

24. WHERE IS 24?!?
monday at 9? 

25. Look to your left, what do you see?
other computers

26. What color is your watch?
i don't have a watch i prefer not to know what time it is thanks

27. What do you think of when you hear the word Australia?
the film and its awesome costumes 

28. What is your birthstone?
amethyst...also my favorite color...convenient 

29. Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru?
drive through...i usually don't get fast food unless i'm in a hurry 

30. What is your favorite number?
i don't know

31. Who's the last person you talked to on the phone?
mommy 

32. Any plans today?
performance and pounds of work 

33. How many states have you lived in?
one

34. Biggest annoyance right now?
that everything is due the day after opening night 

35. Last song listened to?
Coldplay, lovers in Japan

36. Can you say the alphabet backwards?
 i have no desire to

37. Do you have a maid service clean your house?
i love to clean why would i do that

38. Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time?
CHACO's ...or maybe my keds

39. Are you jealous of anyone?
sometimes.  its something i struggle with 

40. Is anyone jealous of you?
how would i know that 

41. Do you love anyone?
many people...perhaps just people in general

42. Do any of your friends have children?
eventually i hope to

43. What do you usually do during the day?
hit snooze on my alarm...i would like to tell you it was thank Jesus for another beautiful day, and sometimes it is....

44. Do you hate anyone that you know right now?
God's creation is not scewed enough to hate

45. Do you use the word 'hello' daily?
ummm...probably

46. What color is your car?
forest green 

47. Do you like cats?
yes, i'm not sure i prefer them to dogs however 

48. Are you thinking about someone right now?
talking to him

49. Have you ever been to Six Flags?
yep, however i think i prefer busch gardens 

50. How did you get your worst scar?
i was playing chase with a first grader at work and tripped and ripped open my knee...almost 2 years ago....